One of my favorite games to play is “What would I do if I were monstrously evil and mentally sick”. It helps me to make sense of current events.


For example, when I notice that North Korea is building a nuclear arsenal while barely providing an austere 1930s standard of living to its people, I take a look at whichever Kim is in charge this year and suddenly it doesn’t seem quite so odd. So when I heard that there will be no U. S. Navy aircraft carriers at sea during the inauguration and that in fact 10 of the 11 are lined up in a row being worked on, I think to myself, “There’s something I’d be very interested in if I was monstrously evil.” And when I take note that various government agencies have stockpiled a considerable amount of weapons, equipment and ammunition while, at the same time, elements within the country encourage and enable the importation of thousands of military age males from places that very same government has seen to it have good reason to dislike Americans, I think to myself, “If I was mentally sick, that could be very useful.”.


If a person could figure out a way of making tremendous profits from wrecking economies and stirring up civil wars through purposely ratcheting up political, religious or, even better, ethnic tensions – someone who was monstrously evil and mentally sick – they might want to pay 50 dollars an hour to malcontents, mercenaries and the mentally ill to form themselves into militant groups claiming to represent every position on every hue of the political spectrum. It would be easy. A wide enough net with sweet enough bait to catch a whole bunch of just the right kind of crazies.


And if a person could figure out a way of making tremendous profits from international tensions and regional wars – someone who was monstrously evil and mentally sick – they might be inclined to prey upon old fears and prejudices and pick at old wounds. For example they might remind the Chinese how poorly they were treated in the last century by the British and Japanese Empires, among others. Or they might arrange for a build up of tanks on the Russian border while encouraging a non-stop, almost cartoonish, demonization of that country in controlled media outlets, knowing that Russia has strong memories of similar incidents not so long ago that ultimately ended with the loss of more than 20 million lives.


If I was monstrously evil and mentally sick, I would try to slowly establish controls over people by making alternatives as inconvenient as possible, even illegal if I could, and hyping illusionary safety benefits – maybe even creating problems in the first place so I could offer my own profitable solutions. I would pay people to ridicule anyone who disagreed or even asked pertinent questions. Eventually, I could get the less thoughtful to lock chains on themselves and willingly consume poisons that enhanced my control all the while thinking it was their own idea. With a little effort I might even be able to get them to attack anyone who doesn’t do the same thing.


If I was monstrously evil and mentally sick, I would bribe, blackmail or bully politicians in every party so that no matter who got elected, my plans would always move forward. And if it turned out that people weren’t quite as dumb as I thought and voted for someone else, I would call their choice “unqualified” or “illegitimate”. I would pay media to twist everything he said into the most negative connotations, or maybe just make things up. I would have them call him a foreign agent and invent salacious scandals, the more bizarre the better. It wouldn’t even be very expensive. After the first few cries were sounded, legions of neurotic nihilists and other useful idiots would take it up and amplify the foolishness. And I would always, every day and in every way, distract people from real problems and real solutions, especially anything that might bring people together, and keep them focused on division, envy, fear, lust and general stupidity.


Tomorrow is Inauguration Day. All the elements are in place for something big and of terrible importance to happen. If I was monstrously evil and mentally sick, I’m pretty sure I’d be nudging things in that direction as much as I could.


Since I’m neither, I plan on spending the day quietly communing with the spirits of both nature and distillation. But I’ll have an eye on the screens and an ear on the speakers just in case. I wouldn’t want to miss anything interesting.


Written By Comrade X

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